Who Actually Ends Up Suffering?

Parenting is often glorified, but what lies beneath the surface of many homes is far from ideal. In this heartfelt piece, I share a raw reflection on how unresolved emotional dynamics between couples can deeply impact the lives of their children — often in invisible but lasting ways. This isn’t about blame — it’s about awareness, healing, and truth.

Who Actually Ends Up Suffering?

We grow up believing this one big myth:

That parents know it all.

That they always know what’s right and wrong.

That they are flawless, like God.

But here’s the truth — and it might sting: Parents are not God.

They don’t always know what to do.

They don’t always make the right choices.

In fact, many times, they’re just figuring things out themselves… confused, lost, and sometimes emotionally wounded.

I know these words might hurt.

But be honest with yourself — isn't this true?

Look around.

How many parents do you see who are truly open to understanding, communicating, accepting, learning, growing, or even stepping out of their comfort zone?

How many believe in emotional freedom — not just for themselves but for their kids too?

Here’s the thing:

Becoming a parent is step two.

But what if they weren’t even a good couple to begin with?

Many couples are unkind to each other.

Their egos are louder than their love.

They may be married, but they’re not emotionally together.

It’s like a cold war at home — a relationship turned battleground — where both sides just want to win.

So… how do such couples still end up becoming parents?

Often for one of three reasons:

1. Because they think sex after marriage is an obligation — especially for women

2. Because of family pressure — sex becomes a duty, not a choice, even amidst conflict.

3. Because they’re trapped in toxic patterns — and use physical intimacy as a patchwork to feel temporarily close.

Now here’s a serious question:

Do people magically change once they become parents?

No.

Having a child isn’t just a beautiful moment.

It comes with sleepless nights, constant responsibilities, and for women — massive hormonal shifts.

If two people haven’t dealt with their emotional baggage, haven’t built real emotional intimacy, and haven’t healed their traumas — then having a baby won’t fix that.

It only adds to their stress — mentally, emotionally, financially, and physically.

And you know who ends up absorbing all of it?

The child.

Babies don’t come into this world with patterns or beliefs.

They observe. They absorb.

They quietly pick up on how love is expressed… or how conflict unfolds.

They don’t ask questions, but they’re learning everything. Silently.

And what do they learn?

Fear.

Shame.

Low confidence.

To hide themselves to avoid judgment.

To stay silent during conflict.

To carry the emotional weight of their parents.

They learn coping mechanisms for toxicity before they even learn how to speak.

So again, I ask you — who really suffers?

Not the parents.

The baby.

Because as someone once said:

“A baby doesn’t fix broken parents — it reveals them.”

Thank you for reading!

This website is a space dedicated to emotional truth, conscious living, and the psychology of relationships. With a blend of empathy and realism,  to provoke reflection, healing, and heart-centered growth.